This post is very humbling to write but I have been known to be honest to a fault and this will be no exception. I don’t want to pretend that I always do the right thing and have it all together when I still have many areas of my life that need work. It’s obvious to all that I am no more perfect than the next person. It would be ludicrous to try to act like I am and even more exhausting to live a lie. The truth is evident. So I’ll embrace it.
I have recently had my patience and humility tested. I won’t go into details but I know that it is no coincidence that these things all came one right after another as if God was trying to tell me to take notice. Well, I did take notice and in hindsight of each situation, I have realized that I could have reacted differently and had different outcomes to various happenings in my life. Even when another person is wrong or angry, I don’t have to respond in kind. I know that if I had kept my joy in the face of oncoming negativity and anger, I would not be feeling unhappy with my response. These tests are never easy but when you are able to get through them holding onto inner peace then you have achieved great strength.
I tend to reflect a lot, okay….. maybe even obsess about these things when they happen but it’s ultimately how I am able to understand where things began to deteriorate and start to make the changes needed to grow. For me, writing about it puts me on the line for following through with making improvements. It helps me to do the work necessary to become better at responding in a more healthy and productive way.
Let’s face it, people are not always going to act the way you that you would like them to. Not everybody is kind and considerate of others. In fact, some are even downright mean spirited. Businesses might not conduct themselves in an honorable manner. People will sometimes disappoint us. What I have realized is that my disagreement or disappointment with them most likely isn’t going to change anything. It’s perfectly ok to speak up for what is right, but there is a productive and noble way to achieve this. In fact, it is ultimately necessary to communicate with others about these things even though it may be uncomfortable. Attempts at self appointed martyrdom never accomplish anything.
So I must ask myself, why did I allow it to bring me down? I have the power to remain above the situation. And if I do, I am in a much better position to perhaps be the teacher for the person in front of me. Through our own genuine peace and tranquility, and not feigned through gritted teeth and snarky grins, we can be a testimony to others. Be aware that what you are feeling is most likely shown on your face. Demonstrating and living these truths is more powerful than any verbal response we can possibly make.
Ronald Earl Wilsher says
Amen.
Become Balanced says
AMEN! Its a journey…. thanks for writing this. We all have histories which lead to our learned behavior and we play that same old record…. we have to recognize and learn new music (habits and thought patterns). Louis Hay has helped me on this journey of taking control of those thoughts and creating new patterns… hello Pandora! ;o) Thank you for being so honest and an amazing human being! HUGS!
southerninspiration says
You know, your admission of weaknesses and making right/wrong choices is evidence of God’s work in you! If you were complacent or nonchalant about consequences as a result of those choices, that would be sad. Instead, you have chosen to reflect and review what your choices were, how results might have been different,etc. In this world, there will never be perfection, but by God’s grace, we all will be able to grow in maturity!! Often it’s two steps forward, one step back, but as long as we are moving forward, that’s what matters. Thanks for your transparency. So many times, if we “think” someone has it together perfectly, there is part of the picture that we are NOT seeing!! Hope to see you soon!
bibifaust@gmx.de says
Kathryn, I think you are amazing.You have a very special gift. You make other people fell welcoming and good. To open up about your feelings, makes you even more special !!!!
Michael Bianchi says
Seems to be a daily challenge for me ….just yesterday I was leaving a parking lot trying to enter the busy street in front of me. There was substantial oncoming traffic and no way I could have pulled out without screeching of brakes and cars crashing. Yet, the amazing gentleman behind me in his little pickup truck with a handicap sticker (ahhh yes, handicap sticker… another peeve of mine for another day) felt the need to lay on his horn the entire time I was waiting for traffic to clear. I was ‘this’ close to doing what I would have done in my less mellow days …. put my vehicle in reverse and allow him to ‘run’ into my back bumper and get out and let him have ‘it’. However, I calmly waited for traffic to clear and pulled out and my ‘handicapped’ friend then proceeded to speed in front and cut me off to which I replied with a smile and peace sign … and then he sped off at speeds far surpassing the speed limit and, of course, not a police car anywhere. I mean the poor man was ‘so’ handicapped he could have hurt himself, right?
Linda Meyer says
Great message and so true. I needed this right now. Thank you!
Thelma Champion, D.C. says
Thanks Kathryn! Awesome message.
Kathryn Crawford Wheat says
Thank you ALL for the lovely comments. It makes sharing things like this a little easier.